I’ve only gone and signed up to a gym. I know. After my boyfriend picked himself back up off the floor he high-fived me and slapped my ass.
I recently found these little snippets of my old blog, missB (a nickname that has stuck around!) and had a wee giggle myself. While four years have gone by, I seriously haven’t changed. I still write and fret and agonise about the same things. It’s like I’m sitting in a damn rocking chair. Not much has changed; just that I’m not chasing the penis constantly and my own confidence and personal self-assurance has greatly increased. Not that I was ever a wallflower.
Last night tucked up in bed, Phil tells me he’s been looking at tickets for the Royal Marines Band performing at the Royal Albert Hall and that we should go AGAIN. He loves these guys – the drummers. No idea what his fascination with them is – but they’re his thing. We’ve been twice, that’s enough for me – they’re no Adele. Then he insulted my nether regions…
This was my outfit description I gave to my good friend, Eileen, on my way to meet her for our Saturday of adventure. We had booked brunch and a free meditation class that Eileen had heard about from Lululemon, so the plan was to rock some casual yoga pants and black trainers, with a top, scarf, coat and shades for a hint of celeb style. If you’ve been reading up about Meghan and Prince Harry – you’ll notice the paps seem to only get her when she’s in her yoga pants on the way to a class.
While reading a book of Maria Semple’s (who is fast becoming my favourite author. Ever.) she brought up the phenomenon of the Helpless Traveller. I love this. Because it’s me all over. The concept of the Helpless Traveller is when you are travelling with someone who is confident, organised and decisive, they are competent, while you, flounder at every turn. Helpless and complaining of sore feet, having no input to decision making and being as melodramatic as possible. “Just feed me, I’m starving and my stomach is starting to absorb my other organs from hunger.”
While your boyfriend sits there pissing himself laughing knowing full well your hatred of them.